


Baby It's Cold Outside

by ravenbringslight



Series: Baby It's Cold Outside [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Christmas, Cinnamon Roll Thor, Depressed Loki, First Time Topping, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, Loki Has Issues, Loki Needs a Hug, Loki and Thor Are Not Related, M/M, Rimming, Romance, Smut, Texting, The Author Regrets Nothing, and a therapist, this whole thing is totally self indulgent but, Перевод на русский | Translation in Russian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 03:51:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8829388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenbringslight/pseuds/ravenbringslight
Summary: Loki's flight home for Christmas gets canceled due to inclement weather. Drowning his sorrows at the airport bar, he realizes the bartender is none other than his latest drunken hookup. Despite the initial awkwardness, Thor persuades Loki to crash at his place for the night.Thor laughed and his smile was sunshine breaking through storm clouds. “Sure, this one's on me,” he grinned. “I'll be back in a minute, I have some other customers to take care of.” Then he fucking winked, and it was so cheesy and yet still somehow super hot. Welp, that's it Laufeyson, you're fucked, even his old man winking is sexy and you're not even drunk this time. You're doomed, just accept it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [StarredSarah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarredSarah/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [StarredSarah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarredSarah/pseuds/StarredSarah) in the [ThorLokiPromptMeme](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/ThorLokiPromptMeme) collection. 



> I think this is going to be chapter 1 of maybe 2 or 3.
> 
> As always, you can visit me at <http://raven-brings-light.tumblr.com>!
> 
> Now available in [ Russian](https://ficbook.net/readfic/5062953)!
> 
> And now featuring [two pieces](https://raven-brings-light.tumblr.com/post/170522963441/lokiofasgaaaard-lokiofasgaaaard-thor-had) of [amazing art](https://raven-brings-light.tumblr.com/post/169698394406/lokiofasgaaaard-loki-and-thor-dancing-black-and) by lokiofasgaaaard! Thank you! <3
> 
> **Prompt:**
> 
>  
> 
> Loki is stranded in New York City after his flight gets cancelled on Christmas Eve due to the winter weather conditions. Defeated after hoping he'd be able to make it home to his family as a surprise for the holiday he finds himself waiting in the bar of the airport, where he realizes the barkeep was he latest one night stand: Thor Odinson. The two converse awkwardly and, after a time, make it back to Thor's again. Anything from there can be explicit or implied, but major bonus for explicit content. 
> 
> Other bonuses: Thor has a huge tree in his apartment, man bun(s), the two exchange presents (one to the other or both), Loki slips on ice and Thor catches him.

Loki looked up from his phone to the flight board and sighed. His flight had just gotten pushed back yet again. Snow was still steadily falling outside and, if weather reports were to be believed, it was going to snow straight through Christmas Eve and into the morning. He'd already been stuck at this godforsaken gate for the last five hours as his flight got pushed back 45 minutes at a time, with his ass falling asleep wedged into the crappy upholstery and his mood rapidly deteriorating. Now it was looking more and more like he wasn't going to make it home for Christmas at all. He was really starting to regret his last minute decision to try and surprise By and Hel.

“Jesus, I need a fucking drink,” he muttered, scrubbing his eyes with his palms. The lady with the 4-year-old next to him looked like she needed a fucking drink too, although honestly her kid was being better behaved than some of the grown men and women throwing tantrums all over the terminal as the delays got longer and longer. Some of these people were absolutely appalling. In fact there was a middle aged man doing what could only be charitably described as “screeching” directly in the face of the harried airline employee at the desk right this very instant. Loki grabbed his bag, only a backpack really, and fled the human pit of despair that was the gate for the closest place that served alcohol.

Airport bars were expensive as shit, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Loki settled himself at the end of the bar at some place he instantly forgot the name of and started scanning the menu for the cheapest thing they had. His nose was still buried in the menu when he heard a deep rich (familiar?) voice say, “What can I get for you tonight?” Loki looked up into a set of glacial blue eyes, heartbreaking eyelashes, a messy blonde updo, and the widest whitest smile he'd ever seen. He gulped. Shit. The smile faltered slightly. It turned into a small frown. “Hey, do I know you?” Blue Eyes said.

Loki looked back down quickly, avoiding the bartender’s eyes by pretending to read the menu again. “Um, I'll just have the cheapest thing you have on tap, thanks,” he stammered. 

The bartender shook his head slightly as if to clear it and said, “Uh, yeah, sure thing.” Loki watched him as he walked to the other end of the bar. The familiar voice, the long blonde hair, the beard, the _goddamn rippling muscles_...It was definitely that guy he had hooked up with at the club the other night. What was his name? Something that started with a T? Shit. Loki had been pretty drunk.

Loki lived and went to grad school in New Jersey, but he liked to take the train into the city on weekends and live it up a bit. He'd straighten his hair, put on about eight pounds of eyeliner and glitter, deck himself out in feathers and fur and leather (fake of course, he wasn't a monster), and pretend he was a functioning twenty-something with a normal social life. He looked down at himself now in nondescript skinny jeans and black hoodie, with no makeup and hair pulled back, and prayed that Blue Eyes over there continued not to place him.

It wasn't that the guy wasn't hot, because really he was h.o.t. with periods and a dreamy sigh between each letter. And it wasn't that he wasn't nice, because from what Loki remembered he had been absolutely sweet and disarmingly charming. It was more that his last memory of Mr. Tall Blonde and Beefcakey was giving each other mutually mind blowing blow jobs in the club's bathroom and then Loki giving him a fake number and doing a runner.

Just chug your beer and go, Laufeyson, he told himself. Stare at your phone the whole time, don't make eye contact, it will be fine. You're a drab little sparrow tonight, not a peacock, he can't possibly figure it out. Oh and don't forget to breathe.

Because here the bartender was, walking back towards him, sex on legs, and breathing was becoming difficult. Loki immediately pulled his phone out and started scrolling through facebook, not even reading anything, just focusing on _not looking_ at the six feet plus of golden godhood gently setting a pint glass of beer in front of him.

“Here you go, _Loki_ ,” the bartender said.

Shit. Shit shit shit goddamn it. All Loki had wanted to do tonight was hop on a plane and fly home to surprise his family for Christmas, not get stuck in delayed flight purgatory and forced to chat up a one night stand that he had ghosted.

“I’m sorry, and you are…?” His expression was cool but his hands felt a little shaky and his heart was racing. Maybe if he was going to act like such a shit to people he should really have the backbone to go with it, huh? It wasn’t really a lie though, he didn’t remember the guy’s name…

“Thor? From the club the other night?” And now _Thor_ was looking embarrassed, which was weird, because what? “I know, I know, I look a lot different sober and in the light of day,” he was saying, and what? “And I totally understand if you don’t want to talk to me, I mean I know you gave me your number, but somehow I lost it, and I asked a few people around the club if they knew you but no one else could give me your number either. But now here you are! So, um, hi. And I’m sorry for not calling you.”

Loki sat and blinked at Thor as his mind finally caught up with the rush of words. He must have taken too long, because now Thor was turning away. “Sorry. I’ll just...I’ll leave you alone.”

Oh my god. What?! Relief broke over Loki like a tidal wave, relief at not having to explain the fake number he had given Thor. Following quickly on its heels was...panic? He suddenly didn’t want Thor to leave. Holy shit was this guy sexy and adorable. Why had he even given him that fake number in the first place? Oh right, because you’re a miserable sack of shit with enough communication and commitment issues to choke a horse, Laufeyson.

“Wait!” he heard himself say. Goddammit. “Hi.” His smile was only a little forced. “Make it up to me by buying me this drink?” Smooth, asshole.

Thor laughed and his smile was sunshine breaking through storm clouds. “Sure, this one's on me,” he grinned. “I'll be back in a minute, I have some other customers to take care of.” Then he fucking _winked_ , and it was so cheesy and yet still somehow super hot. Welp, that's it Laufeyson, you're fucked, even his old man winking is sexy and you're not even drunk this time. You're doomed, just accept it.

Loki ogled Thor's perfect ass as he bent to get something under the bar. Doomed.

“So what brings you to LaGuardia on the worst travel night of the year?” Thor asked when he got back, wiping his _very large_ hands on a towel.

“You know. Christmas. Family,” Loki said vaguely.

Thor had a way of looking at him that made him feel like he was the only person in the room. He felt a little shivery, in a really good way.

“I bet they'll be really happy to see you,” Thor said warmly. “I mean, I've only known you for a couple of hours and I'm really happy to see you.” Loki's stomach did a little backflip. Damn this man. 

He tried to hide his fluster by taking a long drag of beer. “Well, if I even make it there at all. This weather is absolute shit.”

Just then a woman's voice came over the loudspeaker and a collective groan went up through the terminal. “And there you go,” said Loki sourly, “all flights cancelled.” He covered his face with his hands. “Just my fucking luck,” he muttered. “What the hell am I supposed to do now?” Disappointment in not seeing his family cut sharp, but honestly so did relief.

Thor clapped a hand to his shoulder. “Hey, stick around for a bit,” he said. “I'm working for another hour but I could give you a ride after. Where do you live?”

“Jersey,” Loki said glumly. “There's no way I'm getting home tonight in this blizzard. Guess I'll just sleep on the floor here or something…”

Thor's earnest blue eyes caught his. “Come back to my place,” he said. “It's the least I can do. No strings attached.” Then, in a low voice, “unless you want there to be,” and fucking electricity traveled down Loki's spine and straight to his cock.

“Are you sure…?” Loki said, putting up token resistance.

“Positive. You are not sleeping on the floor in this filthy airport on Christmas Eve,” Thor said firmly. “And...I'd really like to get to know you better. Loki.”

A million reasons to say no screamed through Loki's head, including such gems as, I don't want a relationship, I fuck up relationships, what if you axe murder me?

“Ok,” his treacherous mouth whispered.

Thor smiled his sunshine smile again. “Great.”

 

* * *

 

Loki spent the next hour nursing his beer and having increasingly easy bits of conversation with Thor as he flitted back and forth across the bar. Thor lived in Queens by himself in a studio apartment. Besides working in the airport bar, he moonlighted as a Lyft driver, which is why he bothered to try and keep a car in the city. Yes, he was single. No, he didn’t have any other plans this Christmas Eve. Why not? Well, according to Thor’s friends it was because he was a sad celibate old hermit. Loki snorted at that one. He couldn’t think of a description that applied less to Thor than “sad celibate old hermit.”

Loki was a bit of an ice princess but he was thawing marginally under Thor’s warmth. He told Thor how he was getting a master’s in linguistics (“A cunning linguist eh?” Thor said and Loki’s eyes almost rolled out of his head), that he lived in a run down student house practically on campus with two other people, that he didn’t drive. That he was trying to get home and visit his brothers after not seeing them for the last six years. And if he didn’t mention his parents, well, that wasn’t really anyone’s business.

Finally it was time for Thor to clock out. Loki wiped his hands nervously on his pants and tried to act calmer than he felt. They walked side by side out of the airport into the snow. Big fat flakes were falling silently from the night sky. Thor’s nose was pink already, and the snow collected in his hair like a crown. Loki couldn’t tear his eyes away, which is probably why he stepped directly on a patch of ice and went down like a sack of potatoes.

Or at least he would have, if Thor hadn’t swooped in and caught him with those ridiculously strong arms. He caught him easily, one arm cradled around Loki’s shoulders and the other around the small of his back, holding him in midair as if he weighed no more than a feather. They stared at each other for a long second. Loki couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t fucking breathe.

Well Laufeyson, now you’ve done it. You’ve gone and fallen in love.

“You should be more careful,” Thor said, gently setting Loki back on his feet.

“Yes,” Loki said, breathless.

They walked the rest of the way to the car with Loki’s slim cold hand enveloped by Thor’s large warm one.

 

* * *

 

The ride back to Thor’s apartment was slightly harrowing. The plows were running the best they could, but there was only so much they could do in the fight against mother nature. Thor drove very very slowly. Loki didn’t want to distract Thor so he tried not to talk much. Unfortunately it gave him a lot of time to think, something he did too much of for his own good.

What the hell was he doing?

Like, besides the obvious “Thor being a secret axe murderer” angle, there was the whole “Loki is bad at doing human things” angle, the “Loki is emotionally constipated” angle, and let’s not forget the always stellar “Loki is a manic depressive and fucks everything up all the time forever” angle. Jesus.

But.

Didn’t he deserve at least a little bit of happiness? Even if it was only for a night, probably? Because right now he was sort of scared shitless but also really happy at the same time. He wasn’t used to feeling happy. It was weird.

Thor parked the car.

“It’s a fourth floor walk-up, I’m afraid,” Thor apologized.

Loki was slightly out of breath by the time they reached the top of the stairs. Thor wasn’t winded at all, the bastard.

“Home sweet home,” he said, motioning Loki inside.

Thor’s studio wasn’t spacious by any definition of the word, but it made up for it in homeyness. Fairy lights covered the window and the walls were covered in paintings and wrought iron pieces. There were potted plants everywhere. The kitchenette, couch, and bed were dwarfed by an absurdly fat and bushy Christmas tree that Thor had managed to somehow wedge into the corner. Every square inch of it was covered in lights and ornaments.

“Did you…?” Loki said, pointing at the tree.

“Yep, I had to carry it up all four flights myself,” said Thor ruefully.

“You crazy fucker,” Loki said, and Thor laughed. “It's really, um, festive.”

“Yeah, well I'm old fashioned like that. Come in, come in,” Thor said. “Take your shoes off. You can put your stuff by the bed. You can take it of course, I can sleep on the couch.”

Loki arched one eyebrow at him. “Thor, I think you are actually physically wider than the couch is. Don’t be crazy. Although, it might be interesting to watch...”

Thor laughed again. Loki was quickly growing to relish the sound. 

“Let me get us some drinks,” Thor said. 

Loki collapsed on the couch and rubbed his temples. “The stiffer the better,” he said. “It has been a long fucking day.” His stomach was all butterflies. He was in a man’s apartment. He was in _Thor’s_ apartment. Thor, who was intimately acquainted with Loki’s cock but not Loki himself. Thor, who _wanted_ to become more intimately acquainted with Loki himself. God, he was going to need a lot more of those drinks if he was going to survive the night.

“Hey, I know you’re probably really tired,” Thor said, joining him on the couch and handing him something that smelled like whiskey. “And I meant what I said before, no strings attached. I mean, you’re totally gorgeous and funny, and I had a lot of fun with you the other night, but I’m also having fun with you now, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to like pay me for letting you crash here or -”

Loki cut his fumbling off with a kiss. “Shhh,” he whispered, reaching up to stroke Thor’s beard and run a thumb over his bottom lip. Thor inhaled sharply and let out a shaky exhale. “Let’s just see where tonight takes us, ok?” Loki murmured, as much for himself as for Thor. Thor nodded mutely.

Loki sat back and took a sip of his drink. “Manhattan?” he said. 

“Yeah,” Thor said thickly, clearing his throat. “Um. I don’t drink a lot of beer, but whiskey always treats me right.” God he looked beautiful. The lights were pretty low in the apartment and Thor was silhouetted against the twinkling tree. He reached up and took his hair out of the messy bun it had been in all night and it fell in loose golden waves around his shoulders like a goddamn shampoo ad. Loki’s throat went dry.

Fuck it.

He carefully reached over and set his drink on the table. Then he reached over and took Thor’s drink from his hand and set it down too. Thor looked at him quizzically. “You’re too beautiful,” Loki explained, then he was straddling Thor’s lap and kissing him like a drowning man.

Loki twined his fingers into that golden hair, running his nails across Thor’s scalp. Thor groaned into their kiss and his arms came up to wrap around Loki’s waist. They rocked against each other, both hard already.

“Ah,” Loki gasped as Thor’s teeth nipped his earlobe, then down his neck to his collarbone. Loki pulled his shirt over his head in one smooth motion and tossed it to the side. Thor’s hands were everywhere, warm and huge. 

“Are you sure?” Thor rumbled, sliding his hands up Loki’s chest to his neck, cradling his cheek.

Loki pressed a kiss into Thor’s palm. “You’re not taking advantage of me,” Loki promised. He surged forward to capture Thor’s mouth again. “I want you so much,” he said against Thor’s lips.

God, Thor was so warm he was on fucking fire. It felt so good against Loki’s cool skin, Thor’s heat bathing every exposed part of him and somehow finding its way into his chest to warm him from the inside out. Loki wanted to melt over and over again.

He lifted Thor’s shirt to get at that vast expanse of sun drenched skin. Jesus, his muscles. Thor ripped his shirt off the rest of the way and Loki kissed every inch of torso he could get his lips on. He slid from Thor’s lap to the floor and tugged at the waistband of Thor’s pants, looking up at him through his lashes. 

Thor’s cock sprang free, as huge and thick as Loki remembered it. He licked a stripe from root to tip, then took the head in his mouth. Thor groaned and buried his hands in Loki’s hair. Loki bobbed up and down, dancing his tongue over the sensitive head as his hand twisted up and down the shaft. Thor was making the most delightful little sounds and his hips were stuttering erratically. 

Finally he tried to shove Loki off, “Baby, I’m about to -” but Loki grabbed his hips and took him as far down as he could as Thor came in thick waves down his throat. “Oh my god,” Thor finally panted. “Baby, you didn’t have to -”

“Shhh,” Loki said, kissing his way up Thor’s chest. “I wanted to.” He nuzzled behind Thor’s ear. Thor lay back on the couch and pulled Loki down with him, pillowing his head on his chest. 

“You are incredible,” Thor said fervently.

“Well, incredible I may be, but I’m not running a charity here. It’s my turn,” Loki teased, propping himself up to look down at Thor’s face.

Thor smirked. “Oh you’ll get your turn all right.” He put his thumb at the corner of Loki’s mouth and nudged. Loki took it in, never breaking eye contact, sucking and licking. Thor drew in a ragged breath, then kissed him. His hands found the button on Loki’s pants and they joined the pile of clothes on the floor.

Thor picked him up and flipped them over so Loki was on his back. Loki was actually a pretty tall person and the sheer strength required for the maneuver was a huge fucking turn on. He fucking _giggled_ , high and breathless. Thor grinned at him. He kissed down Loki’s inner thighs, then grabbed behind his knees and bent his legs up, leaving him utterly exposed. Loki forgot to breathe again.

Thor’s tongue found Loki’s hole, hot and wet. Loki moaned. Thor’s hands held his legs with an iron grip. He wriggled helplessly as Thor’s tongue ravished him. One of Thor’s hands joined in, just a pinky finger. The noise that came out of Loki was not entirely dignified. Thor crooked his finger inside, searching. He found the spot he was looking for and Loki arched off the couch, babbling. “Oh god, oh yes, please, fuck…”

Thor licked his other hand and started jerking Loki off with it while his tongue and fingers did their wicked dance down below. Loki moaned desperately in time with Thor’s strokes, pleasure building, until finally he burst all over his own chest with a cry.

“Holy...shit…” he gasped, chest heaving. 

Thor kissed his thigh. He reached over and grabbed his shirt from the floor, wiped Loki's chest off, then lay down next to (well, mostly on top of) him on the couch.

“Merry Christmas,” Thor smiled, their noses touching.

Loki couldn't help but grin unreservedly, the expression foreign on his face. “Merry Christmas,” he said.

Doomed.

 

*


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short peek inside Thor's head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some surprise angst in this one. I swear I always start out intending to write Loki fluff but that little shit is just so miserable all the time.
> 
> It's gonna have a happy ending though, I promise.

Thor stared after Loki as he padded into the tiny bathroom and shut the door behind him. Loki’s ass was exquisite and Thor admired the view immensely. Once the door was shut he rolled onto his back on the couch and stared at the cracked ceiling. This was definitely not the way he had envisioned this day going when he woke up this morning. Seeing Loki at the bar had been quite the shock. It had been hard to place him at first in such an unexpected and different context, but Thor was pretty sure he could recognize that gorgeous face anywhere and in any kind of getup. It was wasn’t the kind of face you forgot, you know?

Thor had first laid eyes on Loki at a club a few weeks ago, feathered and coiffed and perched on a barstool like some exotic bird. He seemed to command the space around him unconsciously, surrounded by a bubble of rarefied air holding the teeming throngs at bay. Thor had fortified himself with a shot of whiskey and burst into the bubble.

Their chemistry had been electrifying. They drank, they danced, they laughed. They sucked each other off in the bathroom. Thor’s cheeks colored at the memory even now. He’d never done anything remotely like that before. He told Loki today that his friends referred to him as a sad celibate old hermit, and it was funny but it was also partially true. His friend Fandral had dragged him to the club that night. “You need to get out,” Fandral said. “You can’t just work and sleep all the time.”

“Hey, I also go to the gym,” Thor protested.

“Yeah, nice try Odinson,” Fandral said. “You broke up with Jane what, six months ago? You need to get over it, man. Go out. Have a good time. Have several good times.”

Fandral had needled him about it until going out seemed less annoying than listening to his whining, so Thor finally relented. He had never really been clubbing before and he had definitely never hooked up with a stranger in a bathroom before. But Loki did something to his insides that he couldn’t explain.

When he had lost Loki’s number he had been devastated. It must have fallen out of his pocket somewhere. He’d been back to the club several times hoping to see Loki again, but he never did. He had been in a total funk ever since then. He’d pretty much given up completely when suddenly tonight Loki had practically fallen into his lap. And, amazingly, didn’t hate him.

It must be fate, right?

Loki finally came out of the bathroom, wearing a pair of soft drawstring pants and a t-shirt, his hair piled on top of his head in a messy bun and his eyes framed by thick-rimmed glasses. He looked deliciously disheveled. Thor raised his eyebrows at the glasses.

“I wear contacts but I don’t sleep in them,” Loki shrugged. “I’m blind as a fucking bat.”

“They look cute on you,” Thor said, and Loki blushed prettily. Thor felt his heart swell. “Come here, baby,” he murmured, opening his arms wide. Loki nestled into his side, slotted in just like a missing puzzle piece. “I’ll take you back to the airport in the morning,” he said against Loki’s hair. “So you can get a new flight. See your family.”

“Fuck them,” Loki grumbled. “By the time I get there it will be too late to celebrate anything. They’ve gone without me for six years, they can go a bit more.” He was so prickly. Thor petted his hair, trying to smooth it and Loki’s pride both.

“What will you do, then?” Thor asked.

“I...don’t know,” Loki said hesitantly. Thor was still naked and Loki was stroking his ribs with feather light touches. It almost tickled. “I guess I could try and figure out how to get to the train station, get home...I think Sigyn and Amora both went home for the holidays so the house will be empty…”

“Spend the day with me,” Thor suggested. “I have off tomorrow. I have no plans. Please.” Loki’s hand stilled.

“...maybe,” he said finally into Thor’s shoulder, then fell quiet.

“We should get some sleep,” Thor said. “Santa won’t come if we’re awake, you know.”

Loki groaned and rolled off of him. “You are so fucking cheesy,” he complained, but he was smiling. 

 

* * *

 

They slept together in Thor’s bed, a tangle of long limbs and hair. Thor woke up in the early hours of the morning, the novelty of having someone in his bed keeping him from deep sleep. Loki was on his stomach breathing deeply and evenly. His lips were slightly parted in what almost looked like a smile. Sleep and moonlight had smoothed his features, erasing the sadness that always seemed to lurk around his eyes. Thor gently brushed a lock of Loki’s hair behind his ear. Loki stirred and cracked one eye open.

“Watching me sleep, you creep?” he whispered, but his tone was playful.

“Couldn’t help myself,” Thor breathed. “You sleep like an angel.”

Loki scoffed lightly, then reached for Thor and drew him in for a tight lipped kiss. It stayed chaste for all of a second and a half, then Thor was rolling on top of him and gathering him into his arms. God, he was hard already. They both were. Thor rutted helplessly against Loki’s hip as he kissed his way down Loki’s neck. Loki hooked one leg around him and arched up into him, rubbing their erections together and drawing a groan from Thor.

“I want you to fuck me,” Loki exhaled into his ear. “God, I want you to fuck me, Thor.”

Thor froze with his face buried in Loki's neck. “Right now?” he said. He didn't know his voice could get that high.

“Well...yes?” Loki said, looking puzzled. Thor pulled away from him and sat back on his heels.

“I’ve, uh.” Thor cleared his throat. “I’ve never, uh, done that before.” Loki’s eyebrows threatened to climb into the stratosphere. “With a man,” Thor amended. He thought his face was probably red enough that astronauts could see it from orbit.

“Well holy shit,” Loki said. “The way things were going until now you really could have fucking fooled me.”

Thor laughed shakily. “I really really _really_ want to. Do that with you. But I thought you should know.”

“This is really an extremely interesting piece of information,” Loki said, his tone unreadable. “So you’ve done this before _not_ with a man?”

“Jesus Loki, of course, I’m almost 30, I’m not a virgin. I’ve just...only had girlfriends before.”

“So you only fuck people you’re dating?”

“Well up to this point, yes.”

“But we’re not dating.”

“...no.”

“But you just said you wanted to fuck me.”

“Yes?” Thor’s head was starting to hurt.

“So I’m good enough to experiment on getting your dick wet with guys but I’m not good enough to date?”

Thor growled in frustration. “You’re the one who said you wanted to in the first place!” he yelled. “Why are you twisting everything around?” He gestured uselessly with his hands. “And...maybe we could try it. Dating, I mean. I like you a lot.”

Loki closed his eyes and turned his face away. “That’s not a good idea,” he said.

“Why?”

“We’ll only hurt each other. I’ll only hurt you. I’m...not an easy person.”

Thor was starting to get an inkling of that.

“Look,” Loki continued, putting his palms over his face entirely, “while we’re on a roll with heartfelt confessions here, I should tell you that I never actually gave you my number. It was a fake.”

“What? Why? I thought we really had a connection -” Thor’s heart sank into his stomach. “So you led me on then and you’ve led me on now, letting me think all night that it was my fault we hadn’t seen each other again when actually, _actually_ , you’re just kind of a jerk.”

“You know what, I’ll just leave,” Loki said. “I’ll fucking walk home if I have to. Have a nice life or whatever.”

Thor’s anger had been rising but it fled immediately. Loki was being infuriating right now, but every fiber of his being wanted Loki to stay. Thor grabbed Loki’s wrist as he tried to get up. “Wait. Please. Don’t go. We just...we started out too heavy that’s all. I said earlier I want to get to know you more and it’s true. I do. We can leave the other stuff for later, ok?” He was about ready to get down on his knees and beg.

Loki sat on the edge of the bed. “You were just supposed to be a one time thing,” Loki said to his feet. “And then I saw you again and thought, well maybe you could be a two time thing. But that’s all I do, Thor. I don’t do relationships. I fuck.”

“But you don’t have to,” Thor said earnestly. “I mean, you feel this too, right?” Loki had to feel it. Thor barely knew him but he already felt like Loki was one of the most important people he’d ever met.

A soft “yeah” escaped Loki’s lips, the barest exhale of a whisper.

“Come on baby, give us a shot,” Thor said, wrapping his arms around Loki.

“This is, without a doubt, the single shittiest decision I have ever made in my entire miserable existence.”

“That’s the spirit,” said Thor.

 

*


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki takes a leap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess this is going to be more than three chapters! Who knows how many at this point? Certainly not me.

Loki was fucked.

Well, not literally. And that was part of the problem, wasn’t it?

If they were fucking, they wouldn’t have been sitting there talking about _very uncomfortable things_. This whole fiasco had been one big fat stupid goddamn mistake. This is why he gave people fake numbers in the first place.

And now Thor wanted to be his boyfriend? And he had said yes? (well kind of)

This was so bad. So so so so bad.

And neither of them had been able to fall back asleep after all these 4 AM revelations, so now Thor was standing at the tiny two-burner stovetop, dwarfing it with his vast muscley shoulders, and cooking them pancakes for Christmas breakfast. Pancakes. Thor was such a nerd that Loki bet they would be shaped like fucking reindeer or something.

So...Thor was bi. It was sort of a surprise, but not really. He was such a perfect specimen it would be almost criminal to deny him to half the population. And he had never fucked a guy, which had thrown Loki for a goddamn loop there. Loki dealt with stress poorly at the best of times, much less when he was begging to be fucked in a stranger’s bed. 

He thought he had had Thor pegged as some kind of golden sex god who had tons of casual sex with anyone who threw themselves at him (because I mean who wouldn’t throw themselves at _that_ ). Finding out he was a kind of skittish kind of virgin altered Loki’s view entirely. The connection between them was electric, but he realized he didn’t actually know this man at all.

“Pancakes are ready,” Thor rumbled. “You want coffee?”

“Yes, thanks,” Loki said. “Cream and sugar?”

“Oh, um, I usually drink it black but I’ll see what I can rustle up,” Thor said, banging around in the cupboard.

Did he want to get to know Thor? Did he really?

Loki already knew the answer to the question but he didn’t dare let himself examine it more closely.

More important, right now, was whether or not he wanted to let Thor get to know _him_. Because that was where all the pain lay. Thor liked him now, but Loki was quite certain that once Thor peeled back Loki’s layers of sarcasm, pettiness, and sex and found his gooey molten core of incompetence, depression, and anxiety that he would run screaming for the hills.

Well, at least he was reasonably sure Thor wasn’t an axe murderer at this point.

“Found some!” Thor announced triumphantly, and his stupid perfect grin was so cute that Loki’s face almost melted off.

They ate side by side on the couch using the coffee table as a dining room table. The pancakes were not, in fact, reindeer-shaped, but they did have red and green sprinkles in them.

“You really get into this Christmas thing, don’t you?” Loki asked.

“Yeah, well, it’s my favorite holiday,” said Thor. “I’m probably mostly trying to hang onto that magical feeling you had as a kid leading up to it, you know?”

“Not really,” Loki said, poking at his pancake. Christmas at his house growing up had been...not fun. Their family’s money situation had always been highlighted even worse than usual and his parents took their stress out on their kids. 

“Oh come on!” said Thor, oblivious to Loki’s discomfort. “You must have some good memory of it or you wouldn’t have been trying to get home to celebrate.”

Loki grimaced. “Just drop it, ok? I don’t want to talk about it.” Man, this getting to know each other thing was going so well. “Just...tell me about Christmas when you were a kid, I want to hear about this magic.”

So Thor told him about his family, his parents Odin and Frigga and his little brother Baldur. How Frigga would decorate the whole house in fragrant pine garlands covered in bows, how their family all went out together to cut down a tree each year. About the baking and the parties and the hot chocolate, and then when they were older the mulled wine. How they gathered around the piano on Christmas Eve and sang carols while Baldur played.

It was disgustingly sweet, all of it. No wonder Thor was Christmas crazy.

“So why aren’t you with them now?” Loki asked.

“Well, Baldur finally moved out and now they’re spending their retirement traveling. I think they’re in Iceland right now, maybe?” Thor looked a little sad. “They live on Long Island, I could go over there with my spare key if I wanted, but it would just be kind of depressing.”

“Do you go over there a lot?”

“Not a lot, but often enough. They have an actual house with a yard and everything, and I use the mini forge in their shed to do some metalworking.” Thor gestured to the walls at the wrought iron that Loki had noticed the night before.

“You _made_ that stuff?” Loki asked.

“Yep,” Thor grinned. “It’s pretty fun once you get the hang of it. Sometimes I sell some of it for extra spending money.”

“That stuff is gorgeous, Thor. What the hell are you doing bartending at a fucking airport? If I had talent like that…” Maybe I wouldn’t be such a penniless fuckup getting a useless master’s degree. 

“Eh, bartending pays the bills. Blacksmithing is fun and I think if I made it my job it would quickly become not fun, so.”

Loki put his fork down. “You are incredible, you know that?” he said.

Thor grinned. “Hey, that’s my line.”

Loki smirked.

“I think the snow is stopping,” Thor said, looking out the window. “I can drive you home, or to the airport or the train station, or wherever. Or...or my offer still stands if you’re willing to stay and spend the day with me. We could go see some sights, get Chinese food…I understand if you want to go home, though. Sorry that I messed everything up last night.”

Loki tried to calm the whirlwind in his belly. Thor was next to him, a warm ray of sunshine, larger than life, and when he thought of going home to his empty, cold Thor-less house it almost made him weep. Oh, if he did this, if he stayed here today and went ahead with whatever-this-was, the pain was going to be unbearable. But right now, at this moment...staying with Thor seemed worth any amount of it.

“Nothing is messed up,” Loki heard himself say. “I’d like that. To stay here, I mean. With you.”

Thor beamed at him and grabbed his face with both hands, pressing their foreheads together, sliding his hands down to cup Loki’s neck. “You won’t regret it, baby, I promise,” Thor said. Loki offered him a tight-lipped shaky smile, which was all that he could manage without sobbing.

 

*


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Loki go on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, fluff and smut! \o/ For reference, [this](https://www.google.com/search?q=bryant+park+christmas+village&rlz=1CAASUD_enUS644US644&espv=2&biw=1366&bih=631&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj3zqeBpfPQAhUJwGMKHRXQDXoQ_AUIBygC) is the Christmas village that they visited. It's pretty!

Thor felt light enough to walk on air, which was no mean feat since he had just eaten half his bodyweight in pancakes.

He kept on calling Loki “baby,” because he just couldn’t help himself, but he was trying to be so careful about not letting any of his touches escalate. He wasn’t really sure where they stood. Loki hadn’t shown him any physical affection since their argument, and he didn’t want to take something he wasn’t being offered. After his outburst where he grabbed Loki’s neck, he pulled away quickly and started cleaning up the breakfast dishes, desperate for something to do with his hands.

“This is not an hour to get up,” Loki said tiredly from the couch. “This is an hour to stay out until and go to bed. No one should be getting up at 5AM.”

“I do it all the time,” Thor said. “It’s the only time the gym isn’t super crowded.”

“It’s barbaric,” Loki groaned. “Nothing is open right now anyway. I’m going back to bed.” He went to the bed and cocooned himself in blankets, rolling away from Thor and covering his face.

By the time Thor finished, Loki was lightly snoring. Thor took the opportunity to do some bodyweight exercises, pushups and air squats and some pullups on a bar he had over the bathroom door. He checked his email, sent off a few Merry Christmas messages. His parents had sent him a couple of pictures from Iceland and it looked like they were having a great time.

The four hours of sleep he got last night finally started to catch up to him. He sat gingerly down on the bed next to Loki. The covers had slipped down to Loki’s shoulders. He’d fallen asleep in his glasses. Staring at Loki sleeping was starting to become a habit, apparently. Should he…? He laid down next to Loki, carefully keeping his body as distant as he could. He ached to roll over and gather Loki to his chest, hold him close the way he had last night.

Loki confused him more than anyone else ever had in his life. It seemed like he was nursing some kind of deep hurt, and he had let Thor catch glimpses of it, but he wasn't going to bare his heart easily. Thor wished devoutly to earn the honor of being the one that Loki entrusted with such a precious thing.

He crossed his hands over his stomach and fell asleep.

 

***

 

They ended up going into Manhattan to the Christmas village and skating rink behind the big public library. Little jewel box stores lined the walkways, inviting people inside with their transparent glass walls. Last night's storm had dropped about a foot of snow and the whole thing was charmingly picturesque. 

Once Thor started talking he couldn't stop, it was a character flaw really, and he talked Loki's ear off the whole morning as they walked and window shopped. Loki's smiles grew warmer and warmer, until they actually started reaching his eyes. Once, Thor came out with a particularly bad pun, and Loki had thrown his head back in a full throated laugh. Then he reached over and took Thor's hand, and Thor's heart lifted in his chest.

Loki offered up bits of conversation as well, and Thor tucked each little piece away carefully to treasure later.

Loki looked gorgeous in the snow. He was dressed all in black, his hair an inky waterfall around his face, and he cut a stark figure against the white. His cheeks had gone adorably pink with the cold.

“Can I take a picture of us?” Thor asked. Loki nodded and Thor pulled out his phone. “Smile!” he said. Loki surprised him by pressing their faces cheek to cheek, then turning and planting a kiss near the corner of Thor's mouth while Thor quickly snapped several pictures.

“Let me see them,” Loki said, sitting on a bench and taking Thor's phone, starting to swipe through the pictures. “Well this one isn't disgustingly unphotogenic. Can I send it to myself? Then you'll have my number. My real number.” Loki wouldn't look him in the eye.

“I'd like that very much,” Thor said, sitting next to him.

“Here’s your phone back, sorry, I accidentally swiped one too far. Who is she? She's pretty.”

“Jane.”

“Girlfriend?”

“Ex-girlfriend.”

“You know, I've been wondering how an incredibly handsome and talented man who happens to be into relationships is single at your age. Do you have some horrible defect I've yet to find? A poorly placed mole, perhaps?” Loki's tone was light but Thor felt the weight behind the question.

He expected the wave of sadness and regret that usually came over him when the topic of Jane was brought up, but to his surprise he found nothing more than a dull distant trickle.

“Well as it turns out, you're not the only one who has problems with commitment.” His tone was sharper than he intended and he began apologizing immediately. “Hey baby, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that.”

“No no, it's kind of fair,” Loki sniffled. “It was a pretty shitty question for me to ask you.”

“We broke up six months ago,” Thor said finally. “We dated for three years or so before that. She was a sweet, kind person and I loved her, but our spark just...went out. I wonder sometimes if I made the right decision to break it off, but in the end I think it was the best thing for both of us.”

“How do you do it?” Loki asked.

“Do what?”

“Just...open yourself up like this. Here I am asking you pretty fucking offensive personal questions and then _you_ apologize to _me_ and answer them honestly.” Loki shook his head. “You're either brave or…”

“...stupid?” Thor sighed.

“Well, I was going to say crazy.”

“I don't think I'm brave or crazy. I'm just simple, maybe.”

“Anything but that,” Loki said in a low voice.

“You better stop it with that bedroom voice,” Thor laughed. “I might get ideas.”

Loki reached over and tucked a stray wisp of hair behind Thor's ear. “I'm counting on it,” he said.

 

***

 

They grabbed Chinese takeout for lunch and camped out watching the ice skaters. Loki started giving them ratings (“8 points for effort but negative 50 for that hideous coat, honestly it looks like a yak threw up on it”) and soon they were falling over each other giggling like children. A floodgate had opened, and Loki couldn’t seem to stop touching Thor. Not that Thor minded.

They were sitting thigh to thigh, Loki’s head on Thor’s shoulder, Thor’s arm wrapped tightly around him.

“Hey,” Loki said quietly. “Thanks for inviting me over last night. I’ve…” He cleared his throat. “I’ve had a really good time.”

“Me too, baby,” Thor said.

“No, I really mean it. I go to clubs and bars a lot, but it’s more like habit or something. I kind of forgot what fun feels like.” Thor kissed the top of Loki’s head. This was the first time Loki had really volunteered anything about himself and he almost held his breath waiting for him to continue. “You’ve given me a lot more than I deserved.”

“Hey, don’t say that,” Thor protested.

“Let me get this out,” Loki said, closing his eyes tight. “I’ve been a pretty big asshole to you several times and you’ve been nothing but sweet and forgiving to me. I _don’t_ feel like I deserve it, but I’m trying really fucking hard here to just...accept what you’re giving me and give this an actual chance to work out. And I’m really fucking scared, ok?” 

Thor wrapped his other arm around Loki too, turned his face into Loki’s temple. “I’m a little scared too,” he murmured in his ear. “But mostly I’m excited.” He felt Loki shudder.

“I don’t want to go home,” Loki said miserably.

“Don’t,” said Thor. “Stay here again tonight.” He kissed behind Loki’s ear and earned a tiny gasp.

“God, yes.”

 

***

 

They took the subway back to Thor’s place, practically glued together at the hip, and Thor fairly dragged Loki up the four flights of stairs. He barely got the door shut behind him before Loki was shoving him up against it, crushing their mouths together hungrily.

He had been aching for this all day. He had been aching for this for weeks.

He walked Loki backward towards the bed, never breaking their kiss, both of them shedding clothing as they went. The backs of Loki’s knees hit the edge of the bed and he sat down hard. Thor grabbed Loki’s pants and boxers both and pulled them down and off in one go. “Damn baby, your legs go on for miles,” he marveled. He kissed up Loki’s ankle to his calf, then the lean taut muscles of his thighs. Loki leaned back on his elbows and bit his lower lip. 

Thor made his way up Loki’s torso, kissing and nipping and licking at that white porcelain skin. He took Loki’s nipple in his mouth and got such a pleasing squirm that he did it a second time.

“Stop it,” Loki laughed, smiling, his real smile, the one with teeth, the one that made his eyes not be sad anymore. Thor couldn’t help but smile back. He kissed Loki’s collarbone, then sucked a bruise onto it. “Shit, you’ll leave a mark,” Loki gasped. “Do it again.”  
Thor groaned, covering Loki’s chest in love bites as Loki writhed underneath him. He reached down and wrapped his hand around Loki’s cock, rubbing his thumb over the slit. He swallowed Loki’s moan with his own mouth, licking into the kiss and worrying at Loki’s lower lip.

Thor still had his boxers on and his own cock was straining against the waistband, desperate for some friction. “Wait right here,” he said, and made it to the bathroom and back in five seconds flat.

Loki was spread out before him on the bed, a vast expanse of cool skin, arms over his head and legs akimbo, his cock leaking a pearly bead of precum onto his stomach. “Jesus, look at you,” Thor said, dropping the lube and condoms on the bedside table and shucking his boxers off. “You are the prettiest thing I have ever seen,” he said between kisses, running his hands over Loki’s sides, Loki’s perfect ass.

Loki pushed Thor gently over onto his back and straddled his hips, rocking. He wrapped his hands around both of their cocks together and stroked languidly. “Do you want to fuck me?” he said, low and deep.

“More than anything,” Thor whimpered.

Loki grabbed the lube. “Watch and learn,” he said, laying back.

Watching Loki work himself open nearly gave him a heart attack. First one finger, then two. “Let me help,” whispered Thor, and he got up to four with Loki biting his neck and clutching the covers.

“Now,” Loki said. “Do it. Fucking do it.”

He rolled the condom on with shaking hands, slicked himself with lube. Loki linked his hands behind Thor’s neck and wrapped both legs around him. “Slowly,” he said. Thor nudged against his opening and Loki smiled. “That’s it,” he coaxed. “More.” And then Thor was in.

He was _in_. He sank in inch by incredible inch until finally his whole length was sheathed in Loki’s molten hot tightness. He thought he might actually die of it.

He gave a little experimental thrust and Jesus God almighty. Loki made the sweetest little sound underneath him and Thor nearly came undone. He started thrusting with rhythm, Loki rising to meet him, letting out that same sweet little “ah” with every downbeat. He buried his face in Loki’s neck.

“Oh god, baby, you feel so amazing,” he rasped.

“Fuck me harder,” Loki pleaded, and Thor started going in earnest now, hips snapping. He rose to his knees and grabbed Loki’s legs, raising them up to lavish kisses on his ankles.

Loki was mewling, his cock dripping, his hands fisting in the sheets. Thor drove into him, claiming him, mine mine mine. Loki reached down and started stroking his own cock.

“Shit shit, I, ahhhhh,” Loki cried out, spilling on his own chest. Thor reached down and ran his fingers through Loki’s cum, brought it to his lips, let Loki suck it off. Loki’s eyes glittered through his lashes. Jesus. His own orgasm started building, his hips becoming erratic, until finally he fell forward, folded Loki in half and buried himself in a kiss, exploding in a burst of white light.

Loki was stroking his hair, his neck, his shoulders. Thor untangled himself and collapsed next to him. “Baby,” he said helplessly. “Baby.” He clasped Loki’s neck, stroked his cheek with his thumb. “Jesus.”

“Yeah,” Loki smiled.

 

*


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is a mess, but he's Thor's mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it'll just be an epilogue after this.

Loki stood under the hot water and let it beat on his head. He’d just had the single best day of his life that he could remember since...well, ever. He felt happy, wanted, desired. 

It was fucking terrifying.

There was no way to go from here but down. If he left right now, got on the first train to Jersey, buried himself in his thesis, and forgot Thor’s name...then maybe today could just live on in his memory, one perfect sparkling gem, untainted by the inevitable tragedy to follow.

Suck it up, Laufeyson. Do everyone a favor and just cut your losses now.

He imagined Thor's face when he tried to leave, imagined those beautiful puppy dog eyes full of confusion and hurt as he walked out the door. Thor, who he wanted to climb like a tree, breathe his breath, crack him open and crawl inside, feel from the inside out.

Thor who he loved.

Shit. Fuck.

This is ridiculous, Laufeyson. You don't love him. You've only known him for a day. This is just...hormones and projection. Do you even know what love actually feels like?

Maybe if he stayed in the shower long enough he'd just drown.

His tears mixed with the water pelting down from above and he didn't even realize he was crying.

 

***

 

“I was thinking maybe we could stay in for dinner,” Thor was saying when Loki finally emerged from the bathroom. “I'm pretty sure I have enough food for both of us. What do you think?”

Loki made a noncommittal noise and sat on the edge of the couch, fiddling nervously with a loose string.

“Oh!” Thor said. “I almost forgot. I have something for you.” He looked slightly embarrassed. “It's not much, I made it last week at the forge, but I think now I had you in mind when I was making it. Sorry I didn't have any wrapping paper.” He thrust a brown paper bag at Loki.

Inside it was a small, delicately curled wrought iron piece, intricate and beautiful. “It's to hang on the wall,” Thor explained. “Do you like it? If you don't it's ok, I won't be offended…”

Loki covered his mouth with his hand, felt his shoulders start to shake. He couldn't even fucking look at Thor right now.

“Baby, what's wrong?” Thor said, reaching for him.

“I can't do this,” Loki choked out. “It's too much. I thought I could but I can't. I'm sorry Thor, I have to go.”

“I don't understand,” Thor said, confusion evident in his voice.

“I have to go,” Loki repeated, standing and hefting his bag.

“Stop,” Thor said roughly, grabbing his wrist. “Loki, please, stop pushing me away.”

“You don't get it,” Loki said, rubbing furiously at his eyes to stop the tears. God, his heart was breaking. “I'm not worth this, Thor. All I do is make drama wherever I go. And you're going to figure that out soon and I can't fucking stand the thought of it…”

Thor took the bag from Loki's shoulder, set it on the floor. “You're worth it, baby,” he whispered, running his hands down Loki's arms, trailing lightning in their wake. “You're worth it a thousand times over.”

“No,” Loki said, the corners of his mouth trembling. “Don't do this, don't make it harder.” He clenched his hands into fists to keep them from reaching for Thor. He was afraid that if he did he might never let go.

Thor circled Loki's waist with his hands and touched their foreheads together.

“Why are you so afraid?” he said softly. “Who hurt you so much?”

The sob that had been lodged in Loki's throat finally clawed its way out. 

“How are you so g-g-good?” he stuttered. “My life is like this...this cave that I've been lost w-wandering around in and I didn't even realize how fucking dark it was until you came blazing into it like the goddamn s-sun.” He was crying so hard now he was hiccuping, like some kind of damn child. Thor pulled him into a giant bear hug and he collapsed against his broad chest.

“N-no one hurt me. No one's ever been there at all. I n-never let them.” Thor was stroking his hair now. Loki squeezed his eyes shut and breathed Thor's scent in. His crying slowed to a sniffle. “I never let them.”

“Why?”

“I'm a fuck up. I always have been. Classic loner psychopath trench coat wearing type. My own father told me he wishes he had left me out in the cold to d-d-die.”

“Baby, baby,” Thor was murmuring. “My sweet precious baby.” He kissed Loki's forehead, kissed the tear tracks on his cheeks, kissed him once gently on the mouth. “I hate that you feel this way about yourself. I want to be there for you. I want you to _let_ me be there for you. I want to wake up every morning and tell you how worth it you are and I want you to believe it.”

Loki was trembling violently, clutching onto the front of Thor's shirt.

“Why is this so easy for you and so goddamn hard for me?” he said.

“I’ve had nothing but support my whole life and it sounds to me like you never had any support at all. Let me help support you, baby. Come on. I'm strong enough for the two of us. I do work out, you know,” the last part with a tease and a ridiculous eyebrow waggle and a gratuitous bicep flex.

Loki giggled a little hysterically.

Thor's face turned serious and he took Loki's hands in his own. “I can't promise you forever. That's not how life works, you know? But I can promise you that I'll give it my best shot. I think I'm falling in love with you, Loki Laufeyson, and I'll be damned if I let you go without a fight.”

The late afternoon sunlight streaming through the window ignited Thor's eyes into twin blue flames, wreathed his hair in a halo of gold. He must be a saint, Loki thought distantly, because no mere mortal was capable of all this.

“God help me, I believe you,” Loki said, swallowing hard. “I believe you.”

“Now stop trying to run away from me and come here,” Thor growled, hooking him around the waist and behind the knees and carrying him to the bed like a blushing bride. Loki clung to his neck for dear life, heart fluttering madly, caught somewhere between laughter and tears.

They took their time this time, long slow kisses, lingering caresses, learning each other’s bodies and melting into each other again and again. Loki rode Thor’s lap, locked together in an embrace, and came trembling with Thor’s name on his lips.

They lay together afterwards with Loki’s head on Thor’s shoulder.

“This isn’t going to be easy,” Loki warned softly, sadly.

“Nothing good ever is,” Thor said.

“Satisfaction is...not in my nature.”

“Surrender isn’t in mine. I meant what I said, baby. I’m not going to give you up without a fight.”

“I’m pretty batshit fucking crazy.” Oh Laufeyson, he told himself, you have such a gift for understatement.

“Hey, don’t talk about my boyfriend like that,” Thor said. Loki burrowed more tightly into his shoulder. He still had a voice inside him screaming to run away, but where it had been a siren before, now it was a buzzing gnat that he could tell to fuck right off.

*


	6. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Loki text each other. In case it isn't obvious, Thor is in italics and Loki is in bold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand it's over! Thanks for reading everyone! Visit me at [raven-brings-light.tumblr.com](http://raven-brings-light.tumblr.com) for more thorki feels.

_i miss u already_  
**I’ve only been gone for an hour! I’m not even home yet!**  
_doesn’t matter_  
_i missed u before u even left_  
_what are u doing for new years?_  
**Well, I had been planning on drinking heavily and watching cat videos on youtube, but if you have better ideas I’m all ears**  
_can i come see u?_  
**ok**  
_:D :) <3_  
**You text like a teenage girl, you know that?**  
_sry we cant all be cunning linguists_  
**You’re the worst. It’s a good thing you’re cute**  
_baaaaaby. i have to go to work but i’ll text u later ok_  
**Don’t take any strangers home with you this time**  
_get home safe_  
**I will**  
**Talk to you later**

 

* * *

 

 **Hey, are you home tonight**  
_yeah whats up_  
**Do you know how to video chat? I really wanna see your face**  
_um no but I WILL FIGURE IT OUT dont go anywhere_  
_i want to see ur gorgeous face too_

* * *

_u fell asleep last night with ur video still on. ur so cute when u r asleep_  
**Still creeping on me while I’m sleeping?**  
_yep never gonna stop u cant make me_

 

* * *

 

_baaaaaaaaaabe baby babe babe babe_  
_it was so amazing to see you this weekend_  
_look im so amazed i typed the word you just for u_  
**I’m so honored ;)**  
**It was amazing to see you too**  
_i wish i could see u all the time_  
**Well I defend my thesis in a couple months...I have no idea what I’m going to do after that but I’ll have a helluva lot more free time**  
_u should move to the city_  
**Maybe**  
_u should move in with me_

 

* * *

 

**Hey sorry**  
**I shouldn’t have ignored you for a week**  
**I just kind of freaked out ok**  
**I still want to be with you**  
**Please don’t hate me**  
**Can you call me, I need to hear your voice**  
**I know I fucked up, I know I’m a fuck up**  
**But I need you like oxygen**  
**Please**

 

* * *

 

 _hey bby how did it go today??_  
**Good. I think. It was fine**  
_im so proud of u_  
**So the therapist’s name was Sam**  
**And he’s going to see me a few times before he decides to recommend any meds or not**  
**I’m pretty nervous tbh**  
**And this shit is expensive, holy crap**  
_ur worth it_  
**You know, after talking to Sam today, I’m thinking I’ve probably been depressed since I was a kid**  
_oh baby :(_  
**It’s ok**  
**Don’t feel sorry for me**  
_well im really happy for u right now_  
_i think this is going to be so good for u_  
**:)**

 

* * *

 

**Your mom was so sweet**  
**I really liked her**  
_she liked u too she cant shut up about u!_  
**I’m not sure your dad was into me though**  
_eh he’s like that w everyone_  
_it’s not u it’s just the way he is_  
**Well I’m glad your mom likes me too because I think I like your mom better than I like my own mom**  
_aw baby_  
_u just enjoy casually breaking my heart every once in awhile dont u_  
**Sorry :(**  
_dont be sorry_  
_hey dont forget your meds tonight ok_  
**Got it Dr. Thor**  
_hey i just gotta remind u. u know the rules!!!_

 

* * *

 

_say it again :D_  
**I already said it fifteen times at your place today and like seventy five more times at the train station**  
_dont care_  
_pleeeeeaaaaaaase_  
**I love you**  
_:D :D :D :D -------’-,-{@_  
**I love you I love you I love you**  
_god i love you so much baby_  
_im so glad ur in my life_  
**You’re gonna make me cry**  
_not to brag or anything but i’m kind of good at that ;P_

 

* * *

 

**I really wish you were here tonight**  
_me too baby i wish that every night_  
**i want you to fuck me so bad**  
_> :D_  
**I think I might be dying**  
**From lack-of-sex-itis**  
**There is only one cure**  
**You need to send nudes**  
_ur a thirsty one aintcha_  
**For you, always**

 

* * *

 

**I saw a rainbow today. I hope it’s good luck**  
_u got this baby_  
_u worked so hard_  
**The defense starts in an hour but I think I might have a heart attack before then**  
_BReathe ok_  
_remember what sam said_  
_when u start telling urself u cant do it, just imagine its donald trump and tell him to gtfo_  
**Alright I’m actually laughing, thank you**  
_call me when it’s over!!!!!!!!!!!_  
**Of course**

 

* * *

 

_hey babe darcy called in sick today at the bar so i had to work a little extra but ill be there with the car asap_  
_dont lift any heavy boxes without me_  
**Ok**  
**Are we sure this is a good idea?**  
_baby its the best idea_  
_we talked about it so much u cant back out on me now_  
**I know, I’m just nervous**  
_dont be. soon ill be watching u sleep every night in person instead of ur computer :D_  
**Oh I get it now, the whole moving in with you thing was just to indulge your weird sleep creeping ;)**  
_u know it_  
**Get here soon**  
_already omw_  
**I love you**  
_i know ;)_  
_i love u too_

*


End file.
